Think Tank Panels - A Humorous Look

In his book The Beltway Bible, Eliot Nelson has a section in which he humorously describes think tank panels:

Ubiquitous sight inside the Beltway.  Navel gazing is one of D.C.'s most beloved pastimes, and it's no surprise that every week the city plays hosts to dozens - if not hundreds - of panels where its bottomless well of experts gather to impress each other.  Truly, these things are no less common a sight in the nation's capital that black Lincoln Navigators with tinted windows.

Panelists pontificate on roundtables dedicated to the challenges of updating the tax code in the age of hashtags, they ponder the future of dog-grooming regulatory regimes at the Brookings Institution, and they convene at the National Press Club and discuss the challenges restless leg syndrome poses to think tanks in the post-MySpace environment.  Most panel titles follow a similar blueprint, with a catchy statement or question followed by a description of the event - something along the lines of, "Right Tighty, Lefty Loosey?  Examining Knobs in the 21st Century" or "You Say, 'Potato,' I Say, 'Where's the Lactation Room?'  Updating OSHA Regulations for Today's Working Parents."

Though this theory has not been confirmed, it's entirely possible that panels are just excuses for people to have photos of themselves taken while striking a thoughtful pose behind a folding table.  Those things make for great Twitter bio photos, especially for people who don't have a TV appearance from which they can take a still from.

Check out all our past posts on think tank events (such as this one and this one), as Think Tank Watch has documented all the fun, fails, and follies of think tank events over the past years.  Here is more on Washington think tank events.

New Book Describes Think Tank Panels

Eliot Nelson, a reporter for the Huffington Post, has just written a book called "The Beltway Bible: A Totally Serious A-Z Guide to Our No-Good, Corrupt, Incompetent, Terrible, Depressing and Sometimes Hilarious Government."

Here is an excerpt from the book about panels (including think tank panels):

The convening of experts in sofa chairs or on barstools to furrow their brows and prove how qualified they are to opine about emerging government transparency regimes in the Balkans.

Most panel titles follow a similar blueprint, featuring a catchy statement or question followed by a description of the event — something along the lines of “Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey? Examining Knobs in the 21st Century” or “You Say, ‘Potato,’ I Say, ‘Where’s the Lactation Room?’ Updating OSHA Regulations for Today’s Working Parents.”

Friends in Washington invite you to their panels the way friends everywhere else invite you to their improv shows. Do you feel compelled to attend? Yes. Will you enjoy it? No. Will your friend not shut up about it on social media? Of course not.

Check out past entries from Think Tank Watch for more commentary about think tank panels.